Don't Let Me Go.

And it all comes down to a boy and a girl. ;)

Some things we don't talk aboutbetter do withoutjust hold a smilewe're falling in and out of lovethe same damn problem

It has been long since I blogged and yeah, I do realise that it'd been long since I even wrote an English essay or an expression of thought, besides the ultra short Facebook and Twitter updates. Well, those social networks certainly take in less time than Blogger, and in a student's aspect, a Medical Student for that matter, those are much better. 

Was listening to "Never Say Never" by The Fray; 

And I was so captivated by all the lyrics and the whole song by itself. All this while I haven't actually listened to the lyrics, just assumed it's a motivation song, and now, now I realise it's a love song, a sweet one. 

Picture, you're the queen of everythingas far as the eye can seeunder your commandi will be your guardianwhen all is crumblingsteady your hand

Is there the possibility from waking up from a heartbreak alright? Is there a possibility of seeing a person used to matter alot and now not feel anything? And to justify yourself that things just happen and it's neither of your fault or blame yourself? How is it than even when we know it wasn't worth a shit and being told that it wasn't worth what you taught, you still long there was a mistake? Or how what you thought you knew were all fake and just a drama that was acted along so perfectly you memorised all the lines of lies? How if all you hoped is now new hopes of your counterpart with a new person, and many many more people that's gonna be with her? And one day, you wake up, it's the Friday, 13th of January 2012, just 11 months short of the Mayan's 21st December and you know for sure that that wasn't the problem all along. That never was. 

Have you experienced goosebumps? Good goosebumps? Excited goosebumps? The moment when you look at someone and you know there is a future with that person? And how if the person is afraid of falling for you because of something you promised before? How if before, the naive and the person who wanted to save things and not worsen anything out of fear couldn't see the emotional roller coaster of the future? How if you never thought that you feel this power? Never thought the comfort of expressing is as easy as ABC even when you don't want to tell anything, it just comes out? Never thought that attachment was actually a bad thing? How if all you wanted is something more and your body has been rejecting it due to all the rational reasoning of your brain and what you think others evaluate? But then again, wasn't love just a crazy thing, a blind thing, a mindless, soulful thing? Should there be room for rational  reasoning in the name of love? How if now as you watch a bird flying free, you feel that it wasn't that bird that was caged, it was you. You were the bird in the cage, unable to escape, unable to break the lock and been not able to see things from a superior bird's eye view? How if all this comforting isn't comforting? They say attachment leads to expectation leads to dissapointment. How if when you say there was no expectation, you left the huge room inside yourself to build expectation and you are dissapointed, every single time? And when a single swoosh of action, you just get back to being all fine and normal? How does this function? What if you thought the attachment is non-existing and just a huge rope you tied in your head to the other counterpart? What if the burden of the rope is only in your shoulders? How does one's reaction and ways of action reflect the way they think and what they want? What if their eyes plays more tricks than the words? What if the body flirts and the words come out are intellectual? Why a third person sees this all and mention it, just to be denied? Why the denial exist? Is fear such a devil to be feared? What if all you want is to avoid dissapointment and it's actually already there, even without the risk? After all, it's just thoughts and all the synapses working it's work under stress. What if, the only biggest fear is being forgotten? Being just left aside of a busy road and not looked back? What if you sense that absoluteness of being left and you start waking the other direction all by yourself? How if what you thought wasn't correct? What if the joke is on you?

What if you fall for someone just for the looks? Just for the appearance? Just because someone seem to have similarities with someone else you really like? Someone you adore? Similarities with a celebrity? What if being with her would bring all those memories with your previous encounter of love because of the scary similarities? Or just because there's a rumor? Or because of the thrill for a short-distance relationship and going throught everything you been through again? Does that justify making new memories or the mere of refreshing memories? After all, the settings is the same, the people surrounding are the same, the MO of the tricks are the same. What if it ends the same way? What if you cause the other a heartbreak because your lack of sensitivity? Or what if, looks is not all that matter, or that is also another mere reasoning of rationalization?

We're falling apartand coming together again and againwe're coming apartbut we pull it togetherpull it together, together again
don't let me go,don't let me go, don't let me go,

Or what if a person just pops out in the middle of the railtrack and gives you the excitedness you've never felt before? The excitedness you always wanted to feel, all comes gushing in. What if this person that you interpreted to be something else is actually special and unique in an ultra cute way? And how if when your stupid rational realisation says there's no way you'll ever be liked, you actually get response? Or you assume you are not liked? But how can you be liked when you can always find flaws in yourself? What does it mean, if you keep constantly been reminded of what she will be in real life next to you? They say love is blind? Is it deaf as well? Can a person fall in love with a person they haven't heard the voice of? Or love too big of a word for now? Because when the usage of that word suggests all taboo and all silly little things that is scary and too big to be true? How if all the time you spend texting that person, a big smile is carved on your face like a mad men? What if it's true, there's the fear of dissapointment? How if all the counterpart want is friendship and you pushed it too far to be repaired? How if this expression of thought already too much? Or how if it is just meant to be, and when it meant to be, it would be? How does fairytale arise? What if jetlag and lovelag is what fears you? And when you hear stories that made the distance, you feel reassured? What if your brain is overworking in the wrong direction when it's suppose to be studying? How if all you want now is to be happy and not think? And you know that one person who is awesome enough to make you laugh and make you feel the lalalalala and make you feel so lalalalala? How if you know who that person is? And how does one react when that person is reading this? And all you want is to enjoy the moment because this moment is so naice. It's Laife, after all. ;)